I {heart} My Scarf!

Lindsey P hosted a little scarf swap a few weeks back and I figured I would participate, because I am completely clueless when it comes to scarfs.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them but can't bring myself to by one.  What if it's the wrong style?  What will I wear it with?  Who the hell needs a scarf in Houston, anyway?




I have to say that I am SO glad I joined the scarf swap!  My scarfie Leslie over at Eat. Pray. Love. Run picked out this little number for me.

Is it possible to be in love with a scarf?  Because I think I've died and gone to scarf heaven!  Just as Lindsey P.  I think I've worn this scarf to work every day this week!

I mean, come on.  The deep purple snuggled up to the warm taupe with a splash of granny apple green?This color combination is straight from heaven!







I have received so many compliments on this scarf, and each time I make sure to tell them about the scarf swap and my awesome scarfie who picked out the perfect scarf for me.  And regardless of the weather in Houston, I'm gonna wear this bad boy out!

Like, oh my god, right!?!

Seriously?

DOES ANYONE EVER READ THIS SHIT?
#sorryNOTsorry #realtalk

I've spent the better apart of today trying to make my blog look somewhat attractive, and just got to thinking... who am I doing this for anyway?  Is it really worth the time? 

Am I the only newbie blogger that has ever asked that question?  What about you?  Did you question the amount of time spent on a blog that was followed by only six people in its infancy?  What did you do to get over that hurdle?  To not give up on blogging.  To keep pressing on.  Help!

As long as I get one comment on this blog post (excluding my mom, sorry mom!) I will start the blogging again. 

Now off to move mountains!

Peace!

Whah yoo wan too day?

So Lindsey P over at Creatively Classy asked me to guest post for her while she's out of town!

Freakin' A!!  Maybe I am kinda good at this blogging thing!

Anywho, my cousin and I almost got arrested last weekend, but in order for you to get the back story for this:

You'll have to visit here:

Besides that, Lindsey P has a great blog where she talks about fashion trends, nail polish, being creative, domestic bliss and Mr. Wonderful :)  Doesn't it just want to make you want to live vicariously through her via her blog?  I know I DO!!!!  Just kidding!  But seriously, she's pretty freaking awesome so CHECK IT OUT!

Items in a Working Mom’s Purse (your welcome, market analysts!)

As I was rummaging through my purse this morning to make sure I had my cell phone, I noticed that some of the items in my purse were kinda random.

When I started pulling things out I thought, Man... this would make an awesome blog post!  And so the post was born!

Let’s begin with a photo of my purse.

I’ve had this puppy for nearly four years now, have carried it every day and the damn thing only cost me $15 bucks!  I swear, this thing has been through HELL and still looks great!  {is a purse truly a reflection of its owner?  Interesting!}

Ok, sneak peek inside the purse now.

You will notice that not too many items are visible.  This is because my purse is like a bottomless pit!  Which makes it extremely hard to find things.  Sometimes I am half tempted to take a Prozac before I attempt to find anything in this damn thing!  The most frustrating item to find is my phone.  The inside of the purse is black, and if my phone is screen up, I will miss it 90% of the time. 

I don’t know about you, but when I can’t find my phone I have a mini panic attack.

Let’s proceed.

I decided to pull out the most interesting items in my purse.  Let’s face it, ladies… we all have tampons, chapstick, lip gloss and at least two koozies {What?  You don’t carry koozies with you?  You never know when the clock might hit Beer:30.  A lady must be prepared!}

Ok, I’ve numbered each item to make this a little easier.

1. Gum, 'cause ain’t nothing worse than hot garbage breath.
2. Thirteen cents, and…  I got nothing.
3. Three pens and one Princess pencil. Gotta have a Princess pencil!
4. Vera Bradley checkbook and ID holder.  O.M.G., like, so cute, right?!
5. Random name badge from a work event that was like, two months ago.
6. Clinique Happy perfume. It’s a staple.
7. Flip camera mini-tripods... these are great and come in handy! {mind out of the gutter, ladies}
8. Lice Comb from the Texas Lice Squad – ‘cause you never know when you might have to whip that baby out to put it on some creepy crawlers!
9. Toy blow dryer, yeah… nothing.
10. Carl Long autographed baseball cards.  Yeah, I don’t know who he is, either.
11. Bidness cards "How you expect to run a sussessful bidness widout no Schlitz Malt Liquor!  {It’s from a movie}
12. Watch.  They're overrated.
13. Foldable flats for walking to and from the office – very attractive… NOT!
14. Princess memo pad – this is what I typically use to take notes during meetings, along with my Princess pencil, of course.
15. Measuring spoon from Chuy’s – it was a mother’s day gift.  It says on it “Can’t Measure a Mom’s Love”…GAG ME!  Let’s be a little more creative and less stereotypical with our promo items, people!  How about a jumbo wine glass and some bath salts {preferably not the kind that would compel me to eat my husband’s face off}.
16. Cuticle pusher backer.  Not sure of the technical name.
17. Softlips chap stick – love the way it smells!
18. Passion Flower Potpourri from Bed Bath & Beyond. This stuff smells amazing ladies!  You can put them in your car, panties drawer, your man’s sock drawer, in the closet and just about anywhere else you want to smell passiony!  {no, it’s not recommended for internal use}.
19. My daughter’s softball belt.  I remember when I was that size.  Sigh.
20. Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer,’case a bum try to touch me, eww! {it’s from a song}

There is one thing missing that I would never leave home without….  DEODORANT!  Don’t need to carry that around with me anymore!  See Oh no she di’int!: BO {follow-up}.

And there you have it!  So maybe not as random as I thought, but interesting nonetheless.

What are the most random items in your purse?

Oh no she di'int!: BO {Follow-up}

Here it is!!!  It's what you've all been waiting for!  The update on my non-deodorant deodorant stick.  Prepare yourselves 'cause this just might rock your world (or at least your pits).

OK, are you ready?

IT WORKS!!!!  HALLELUJAH, it freaking works!  The Crystal Body Deodorant Stick works like a charm!

Throw yo hands in the air like you just don't care!  Don't mind if I do!

I tried it last Saturday for the first time.  It's a little different than applying normal deodorant or antiperspirant.  You actually wet the stone with a little water and rub under your pits.  Now, I will say that I did sweat my ass off of on Saturday.  I believe the heat index in Splendora, TX was around 108.  Yes, it gets that hot here!  By the end of the day, I did have a very slight odor, but I practically had to bury my nose in my armpit in order to smell it.  And, like my mom said, if you have to try that hard to smell it then you really don't stink.  So true!

Mom also said it works better the more you use it.  I've been using it since Saturday and can honestly say I don't stink.  It's a miracle, right?!  I mean, imagine not having to use all those chemicals EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  You know ladies, the proverbial 'they' say that the chemicals in deodorants and antiperspirants have been linked to breast cancer and Alzheimer's disease.

SAVE THE TATAS [and the dome]!  GO CRYSTAL CLEAN!  {ladies, let's be honest here - we do use both to our advantage :)}

In case you can't tell, I'm pretty pumped about this.  I hope you will give it a try and let me know what you think!  You can buy it at Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, Walmart and various other retailers.

Bye-bye BO!

Oh no she di'int! : BO

Pull up your granny panties ladies, ‘cause it’s about to get real up in hurrr!

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that my pits are starting to smell a little funktified.  Seriously, it doesn’t matter if I’m sitting at my desk at work, grocery shopping or doing laundry around the house I smell it!  And what’s crazy is it’s worse when I wear sleeveless tops!  Random.

I think I’ve probably tried just about every deodorant known to mankind.  I’ve tried men’s, women’s, unisex, aerosol, solids, invisible solids, invisible gel sticks, gel and I’ve even tried Old Spice body wash and nothing really works!

Side note:  Did you know that body odor in your arm pits and feet is caused by bacteria activity breaking down proteins into acids?  Also, perspiration is actually odorless.  It’s the bacteria that causes the foul smell.  Can I get a collective EWW!!?

I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to carry around a stick of deodorant with me everywhere I went.  

And there’s nothing worse than being self-conscious about BO.

So, a few days ago my mom told me about this all natural deodorant that she was using and that it was absolutely amazing!  It has no harmful chemicals or metals, no perfumes and no aluminum or chlorohydrate.  And the great part is it actually works for her! (I’m convinced BO is hereditary and worsens with age.)

Here comes the best part...  She bought me one and I received it in the mail today!  Just in time for my oldest daughter’s all day softball tournament tomorrow.  I’m about to put this bad boy to the test in a serious way!

It’s called Crystal Body Deodorant Stick.  There are several varieties of the deodorant.  My mom prefers the stone stick, so that’s what she bought me.  

Could it be possible that natural mineral salts could actually fix my BO dilemma?  We shall see! 

My New Obsession

So I am obsessed with these Someecards!  On my way home from work today, I could not stop thinking about all the possibilities!  I know, I'm a dork.   

Here are two that I came up with today.  Let me know what you think!

Off to be creative!

Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me!

So, throughout my life I have been accused of being stuck up or snobby.  For people who actually know me, this couldn’t be further from the truth.  In fact, I am quite shy when it comes to meeting people and starting up conversations with perfect strangers (Unless of course, I’ve had a little social lubrication – and in that case, you can’t shut me up and by the end of the night I will be your BFF and you’ll end up telling me all of your secrets!  Like that you’ve had a boob job and you really don’t know who the daddy is – true story!)

As I’ve aged, I find that I am more open to people, which has in turn helped me to create many valuable and close relationships that I absolutely cherish. 

However, I still cannot get away from being judged – simply because have not made an effort to go out of my way to meet absolute strangers (neighbors count, right?)

Case in point:

My neighbor, we shall call him “Mark”… wait, that IS his name.  Totally blew that one. 

Anyway, Mark came over to the house last weekend, as he typically does, to bum beers off me and my husband.

Side story:  One Sunday morning, Mark came over to the house, knocked on the door and asked my husband if he could have a few beers.  Now this was like, the fourth or fifth time Mark had done this in the past few weeks.  So my husband politely asked.. “Mark, why don’t you drive down to the store and buy your own beer?” to which Mark replied “Well I would, but the store doesn’t start selling beer until noon on Sunday.”

Strategic and calculated, Mark.  Nice.

So back to the story…  As Mark is sipping on the third or fourth beer he’d bummed, he says to me – unprompted, mind you – “I don’t know why the people in the neighborhood think you’re stuck up.  You’re the nicest lady I’ve ever met!  I just love y’all!”

Wait… what?  WTF did you just say?  So what you’re saying is the people in the neighborhood think I’m a snob? Why, because I didn’t bring them cookies and cakes or walk around the neighborhood knocking on doors, bothering people and interrupting their family time to introduce myself?  Or because I don’t want to get wrapped up in their baby momma drama, I like to sleep with my wife’s cousin bullshit? Give me that beer back! (snatches beer out of hand in mid-sip)

Well, I didn’t actually say that to him or snatch his beer, but I thought about it!

So it was clear to me at that moment that it doesn’t matter what I say or do, whether I wave to my neighbors or not, I will always be perceived as a snob until people actually put aside their preconceived notions about me and actually take the time to get to know who I am.

Because according to Mark...

I’M THE NICEST LADY YOU’LL EVER MEET, DAMN IT!

Sleeping at the Drive-in

So I went to my first drive-in movie on Saturday and it was awesome!

For some reason the Grease song kept playing over and over in my head…

“Stranded at the drive-in, branded a fool.

What will they say, Monday at school.”

I could practically see John Travolta with his skin-tight black pants and bouffant hair (wait, Sandy wore the same thing… hmmm) swinging and singing with the giant movie screen as the backdrop.

“Oh Sandy! Baby, someday when high-yi-yayi school is done…”

(um, so yeah, maybe there is some substance to the allegations of late... just sayin')

But as with just about any other movie, I fell asleep.  It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, movie theater, at home, or sitting in a fold-up camping chair at a drive-in – I fall asleep. Every. Damn. Time.  Even if it is a movie I have been dying to see!

Granted, Battleship wasn’t the best flick, but it was loud enough to wake the dead!  But apparently not loud enough to keep me awake. 

Yes, I have a pulse.  I checked.

I’m thinking this is some sort of disorder perhaps?  Maybe some form of narcolepsy – like, I don’t know, cinimatogolepsy. I know I can’t be the only person in the world to suffer from this disorder.  Question is: how do you cure it?!

Massage therapy?

 

Lessons I’ve learned in the last 5 months (Part 1)

Blogging?  I’m too busy living!

 

And yet, here I am… after a long hiatus from the blogosphere, I’ve decided to come back and share my not so interesting life with you.

 

Lessons I’ve learned in the last 5 months (Part 1):

1. Lice are NOT fun!
2.  Don’t let your 5 year old wear fake tattoos on areas of the body that cannot be concealed by clothing. Teachers don’t like it.
3. Let your 15 year old stepson do his OWN laundry to avoid awkward moments.  Eww!
4. Acknowledge the signs of heat exhaustion BEFORE it’s too late.  No bueno :-/
5. Beer, vodka, orange juice, monster, jagermeister and hot tubs don’t mix.
6. Breeding English Bulldogs is a freaking nightmare and I’ll never do it again.
7. Crawfish enchiladas are the BOMB!  Thanks P!
8. Wishing yourself thin doesn’t work (and neither did My Fitness Pal).
9. Ash is not a good color for me.
10. Tan lines are the DEVIL!
11. Don’t ever agree to take in another animal when you already have two adults, a 15 year old stepson, two little girls (5 & 6) two dogs and one cat in a 1600 sq.ft. home.
12. Roller-skating is fun at any age!  Just don’t hold hands with your 5 & 6 year old. There’s nothing worse than a really awkward 31 year old woman in the middle of reliving her youth, trying to catch her balance on roller skates, (while still trying to look cool) falling backwards with legs flailing in the air, and nearly hitting her head on the lubed up hardwood floors.  Who knew a 5 year old could take down a grown ass woman?!
13. I’ll never win “Mother of the Year”